Pain, I have always found, is relative depending on how far you can remove yourself from the situation.
[Spock blinked in consideration...]

As a Vulcan, the fact that I can no longer emotionally remove myself from certain individuals is...

...appalling. Then again, it has been suggested to me that I not measure myself only in Vulcan terms.
Ami... how do you do it?
[Spock wants to know how to deal with the emotions that follow a loss.]