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Personal Log #2/Action Post - A Week After Amnesia Event
[Spock is sitting on his bed and he stares at the journal which is currently residing on the desk across from him.
Spock had woken up this morning and knew he was alone in the house....his Captain was gone. And he knew that he had been taken... and Spock could feel that Captain Kirk was in pain...wherever he was.
Spock wondered at the futility of putting out a community-wide announcement to see if anyone had further information on Kirk's whereabouts. Spock was also rather disinclined to leave his house considering the damage he had inflicted during the bout of amnesia... he had not left the house in approximately 3.6 days. What if he had met someone he had 'assaulted'?
Spock puts his head down at that thought...he can recall his father's lectures on privacy and using telepathy on psy-null beings...these offenses were a severe violation and punishable in Vulcan society. If his home-planet still existed he would be outcast! The crimes he committed! It only proved that as a Vulcan, he was.... a poor example.
Spock abruptly gets up and starts to pace through the room. His meditation lately has left much to be desired, though it did resolve a rather significant issue. The link that he had forc...established with Mister Lupin was familial in nature and fairly easy to control. Lupin would not have to be burdened with this as long as Spock was able to keep his shields in place.
But the meditation itself? The effects from the physical contact had left Spock at mental loose ends. The memories and emotional transference...well, it left him emotionally compromised, and the nature of the contact made it rather difficult to resolve.
Spock's pacing slowed as he considered the other encounters he had...he was a disgrace... the things that happened, the beings he took advantage of... and he will never be able to look at the couch the same again.
He put his head in his hands and sat back down on the bed...there had to be a logical resolution to this...perhaps he needed, as they say, a 'change in scenery'. He looks up and glares a little at the journal. His frustration levels begin to rise once more.
.....everything....everything about Spock has been 'unraveling' since landing in Luceti. He has not felt this exposed since he was emotionally compromised on the Enterprise...and he was ashamed then too. Spock abruptly stands once more and stalks towards the desk. In a fit of anger he slams both fists down on either side of the journal... unknowingly turning it on. The wood splinters cut into his hands, but he does not feel it. The frustration has built into a blinding rage and he manages to shout in Vulcan...]
Nam-tor nash-veh sasu t’ek’kayik sut!
[Then he picks up the bed-side bureau and throws it out the window making a fantastic display of shattered glass and the deafening silence that follows the explosion of sound....
Spock stands amid the mess and just breaths...]
Spock had woken up this morning and knew he was alone in the house....his Captain was gone. And he knew that he had been taken... and Spock could feel that Captain Kirk was in pain...wherever he was.
Spock wondered at the futility of putting out a community-wide announcement to see if anyone had further information on Kirk's whereabouts. Spock was also rather disinclined to leave his house considering the damage he had inflicted during the bout of amnesia... he had not left the house in approximately 3.6 days. What if he had met someone he had 'assaulted'?
Spock puts his head down at that thought...he can recall his father's lectures on privacy and using telepathy on psy-null beings...these offenses were a severe violation and punishable in Vulcan society. If his home-planet still existed he would be outcast! The crimes he committed! It only proved that as a Vulcan, he was.... a poor example.
Spock abruptly gets up and starts to pace through the room. His meditation lately has left much to be desired, though it did resolve a rather significant issue. The link that he had forc...established with Mister Lupin was familial in nature and fairly easy to control. Lupin would not have to be burdened with this as long as Spock was able to keep his shields in place.
But the meditation itself? The effects from the physical contact had left Spock at mental loose ends. The memories and emotional transference...well, it left him emotionally compromised, and the nature of the contact made it rather difficult to resolve.
Spock's pacing slowed as he considered the other encounters he had...he was a disgrace... the things that happened, the beings he took advantage of... and he will never be able to look at the couch the same again.
He put his head in his hands and sat back down on the bed...there had to be a logical resolution to this...perhaps he needed, as they say, a 'change in scenery'. He looks up and glares a little at the journal. His frustration levels begin to rise once more.
.....everything....everything about Spock has been 'unraveling' since landing in Luceti. He has not felt this exposed since he was emotionally compromised on the Enterprise...and he was ashamed then too. Spock abruptly stands once more and stalks towards the desk. In a fit of anger he slams both fists down on either side of the journal... unknowingly turning it on. The wood splinters cut into his hands, but he does not feel it. The frustration has built into a blinding rage and he manages to shout in Vulcan...]
Nam-tor nash-veh sasu t’ek’kayik sut!
[Then he picks up the bed-side bureau and throws it out the window making a fantastic display of shattered glass and the deafening silence that follows the explosion of sound....
Spock stands amid the mess and just breaths...]
no subject
Lupin had told him that in his universe, 'Spock' was a character on a television series...
The only name association with Loki were stories that he had heard about Norse gods... Is there any connection?]
I see....Would you have any association to Norse mythology?
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As a matter of fact, I am that Loki.
Though I would caution you to not believe the stories in their entirety. The things that have been made up about my sexual habits are quite shocking.
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My knowledge on the subject of your stories of origin is extremely limited...and I would assume that it has been subject to interpretation due to the fictional nature it holds in my universe. Therefore my understanding of you will be drawn, rather, from our personal interactions.
You have shown me nothing but kindness, and it would be unfortunate to burden you any more. I will... seek help elsewhere.
[Spock is frustrated... he does not enjoy this feeling of weakness and fragility...but he needs help...he needs to regain control....
Spock shivers...]
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[He smiles thinly.]
Or I can leave now if you wish.
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Please.. do not leave.
I will explain. It would require our minds to have a temporary connection and you would serve as a center of calm in order for me to regain a mental balance.
There may be some emotional transference, and at this point it may be inevitable as I could not prevent it from happening.
[Spock breaths as he waits for Loki's verdict....]
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If there might be transfer from my mind to yours, I'm afraid it might be too risky for you. I am concerned by this.
Spock is obviously not usually like this... but he will be bamf once I get him sorted out. XD
I...understand. And your concern is...logical. I should not have brought it up...there are too many unknown variables, and I could seriously harm you. I am...not safe to be around.
[Spock thinks back to last week when he regained his memories after the shift. He was with Lupin and had most shamefully passed out... He was beginning to feel like that again.]
[Spock starts to stand, a wave of dizziness hits him but he ignores it...]
My apologies... I....
[Spock wavers...]
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There was a rather curious 'ringing' noise occupying his attention.]
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He has to brace himself on the counter top in order to keep from falling.
Unsteadily breathing, with his head down, Spock whispers something inaudible....]
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Spock looks up at Loki and sits down once more...]
It would seem that I am in need of assistance after all.... [Spock finds he greatly dislikes to admit this fact...]
However... there is nothing they can do for me at the Battle Dome... they are not equipped for this particular medical issue.
I...I believe I will contact Mister Skywalker...
I thank thee for your concern...
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Luke and Obi-wan seem the sorts good for this manner of problem.
Would you like me to stay until he has arrived?
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Negative. [Spock would rather, in all honesty, if Loki stayed... though...
But he does not want to appear a nuisance.
In amusement Spock reflects....]
I find it interesting that this is only the second time we have conversed... perhaps there will be a time when can interact under 'normal' situations.
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I don't think normal is a thing that happens here.
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So it would seem.
[Spock clenches his hands on his lap... hopefully he will be able to regain his composure soon.]
Peace and long life to you Mister Loki. Even in my compromised state I can tell that you are a being of much significance that has suffered a great deal... but I have found your presence soothing. I do not know what would have happened if you had not come to check on my well-being.
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And is that what we are? Friends?
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Something like, I should think. Acquaintances?
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Goes to show how compromised the Vulcan is if he is willingly putting his hands on others.]
I would show you out m-my friend... but as you can see, I am rather reluctant to vacate my seat.
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Quite all right, I can let myself out just as easily.
If you take a turn for the worse, feel free to call for help.
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He lifts his hand in Ta'al...]
Peace and long life to you Loki until next we meet.
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He bows.]
And you as well.
[He lets himself out by the simple expedient of walking through the wall.]
If it was normal for Spock to say WTF... well... he would have. XD
Fascinating. He must ask Loki how he does that the next time they meet.
And focuses on contacting Luke Skywalker....]