Personal Log #11 - Dazed and Confused [Voice/Action]

[spohkh]

[Spock opened his eyes and held in the groan at the familiar sight of Luceti's forest. It took a moment for the Vulcan to organize his thoughts and realize what had happened...

Ah yes... He had been kidnapped once again.

Spock sat up, wary of the lingering effects from his visit with the Malnosso... and looked around for his Journal. Predictably it was laying innocently by his side... illogically he had hoped that it might have been lost. No matter.
Spock reached for it and stopped... realizing that something was wrong with his hand. It was... frozen. His long fingers stuck together, hand in the shape of a loose fist and refusing to move. The Vulcan's eyes widened in surprise as he checked his other hand, finding the exact same thing. What was he going to do? He could barely pick up the journal let alone use it properly.

The Vulcan fumbled with the journal, finally getting it to flop open on in his lap... ]

Greetings. I have been returned from my... visit... with the Malnosso. I require assistance. Is anyone there?



[Action]: Spock can be found in the woods without the use of his hands. He's going to need a lot of help, and Spock's not going to like it.
You can also catch him walking towards his place with his journal held awkwardly between his fists. Approach him if you dare.]


[OOC: When I originally went on Hiatus, I said that Spock was going to be on autopilot, however, I've needed to be away longer than originally planned. It was advised to me that I have Spock mallynapped to excuse him from not knowing everything that's gone down. Apparently I've missed wings... this upsets me greatly. XD]

Comments

[Voice] <3

[spohkh]

[Spock for the moment is alone... finally having made it to his house. The journal has been placed on the desk, open for the time being.]

Miss Marita, the sentiment is mutual.

[This is a voice that Spock has not heard in quite some time.... he wonders how she is doing.]

My apologies for only having the journal on voice... I cannot operate it on my own for the time being.

[descrier]

[ Even though the journals are not on video, she still slightly shakes her head. ]

It's alright. It sounds like you have your reasons.

How are you feeling?

[spohkh]

Feeling.. .[The Vulcan murmured the word in an almost-amused voice.]

I am feeling relatively well, thank you. Though I must admit to a strong feeling of frustration... I should be able to contain this feeling more sufficiently, though it is proving difficult at the moment.

[descrier]

If you don't mind my asking... what exactly happened to you?

[ She tries her best to not make herself sound... nervous. The thought of being trapped up in a large medical facility being experimented on with no way out until they allow is doesn't settle so well with her. ]

[spohkh]

[Spock doesn't mind being asked questions... but the Vulcan hears that slight hesitance.

Curious.]

The ability to move my hands and my wrists has been taken from me. They are closed into fists... thus making it rather difficult to pick up anything..

[Spock looks down at his journal again as if it had insulted him. The Vulcan realizes he can't even change his clothes until this effect is lifted.

Spock barely holds back his sigh.]

[descrier]

[ She idly wonders what the Malnosso's point of that is — what the point of whoever's above them is. Fortunate for the voice feature, she silently shifts uncomfortably. Reminders of a boy with sown up eyes and a mouth are push past her thoughts and into the darkness. ]

My sincerest condolences, Mr. Spock. [ The way she says it implies that she truly means it. ] I suppose it's pointless to wonder what they wanted to obtain with an experiment like that considering their selectiveness.

[spohkh]

[Again, Spock refrained from sighing...]

I believe the human phrase is.. 'it is not the end of the world.' However, I appreciate your concern.

[Spock hesitates...]
I believe I know why the Malnosso experiment on us the way they do.

[descrier]

No, it's not the end of the world, but... it still isn't something someone should go through. Wether they way to be here or not.

Other than their own means of escape? [ She sounds composedly curious. There is no eager to rush his answer, she knows that he is as patient as she is — especially during a frustrating moment such as this. ] Why?

[spohkh]

I believe that this world is somehow sustained by our turbulent emotions.

[Spock leans back on the tree in consideration... Sure the Malnosso want to escape... but they won't unless they know it's safe. In the interim they use the residents of Luceti to experiment on.... to mold and change enough somehow suit a means for escape.

It is a nexus of improbabilities. But... there is always something that is never explained. Why this method? Why humiliate everyone in the way that they do? It was for a purpose...]

[descrier]

You mean a collective consciousness of sorts? The more they experiment or send us to missions and drafts... the more our emotions effect how Luceti itself thrives and 'exists'?

[ That holds water to their previously spoken simulation theory, she thinks. Her only issue is the vast array of people who reside within Luceti and those who have arrived and departed before them. Had they been entirely done with Scully, leaving her to return home before either her or Mulder? Did they consider Marita herself due to her previous experimentation?

There are so many theories, but not enough thread to tie them all together. She's on the opposite end now, finding information rather than handing it out, it's not something she's used to. ]

[spohkh]

Indeed...

As to why certain individuals are kept longer than others is as of yet unknown. However, I have found that 'not fighting it' is a rather...

...wise alternative in this case.

[Spock sounds dangerously close to 'giving-up'.]

[descrier]

When I spoke to Davis and Carol, they said that the Malnosso are looking for people who would rather not be in Luceti than those who are fine with it... regardless, I would have to agree with you.

As much as it may seem like a hopeless defeat, it may give us an advantage.

[spohkh]

You may be correct. I believe the terran phrase is to 'lay low' yes? There is much to be gained in patience...

[Spock would never seriously give up... he was just having a low day it seems.]

[descrier]

I would have to agree. It seems hard to think we may be stuck here for the rest of our lives, but if we're going to constantly demand answers, settling seems like the only option.

For now, at least.

[spohkh]

[Spock seems to take a moment to consider...]
Miss Covarrubias, I believe I now understand the therapeutic nature of the action 'speaking your mind'.

You have my thanks.
[Not many people enjoy listening to a Vulcan talk for huge lengths of time.]

[descrier]

It's not an issue at all, Mr. Spock. My experience as a diplomat may not have much meaning here professionally, but... socially it is still important and you haven't exactly had the easiest time. Especially since your return.

[ In all honesty, Marita doesn't mind. She cares for people and humanity itself, even if they are from other worlds or dimensions, and knows the effects of experimentation. It would be hard for her not to attempt to understand his plight. ]

[spohkh]

[Spock considers her words for a moment... and hums.]

I have always found Terran communication rather fascinating... Mainly because of how much you can determine by how a human listens or gives advice.

It is my understanding that those who can most easily relate are those who have experienced something similar.
Am I correct?
[A question within a question. Spock knows something happened to you.]

[descrier]

[ Despite her usual subtlety and being able to hide most of her own emotions, Marita easily recognizes that Spock is a smart man. He is much different and much more attentive than those like her who surround her. Mulder does not ask her of what's happened in the time wedged between them out of professionalism. Krycek had no issue leaving her for dead, but the Cancer Man saw something in her that he felt needed to be preserved. Even after what he did to her.

She knows that eventually, she cannot burrow it forever, but it's easier to close herself off than trust someone will not throw her to the wolves. Or rather, easier to not make the same mistake twice. ]

You are. Communication is usually based on a great deal of understanding and viewing the other person's word objectively to gain this understanding, but...

[ Her fingers twist together in her lap. She is still fueled by paranoia that she can easily be picked off by something much higher up than her — one that is not alien or a deity, but human. ]

Sharing certain experiences is one that creates a certain bond, as well. It's why support groups and communities exist in the first place.

[spohkh]

Ah yes... To seek support from others is a rather... foreign concept to me, and Vulcans in general.
The bonds that we share with our families act as a form of support, but without them, we are utterly alone.

[Indeed, Vulcan society was.. quiet. The very idea of sharing your thoughts and trouble with others was unheard of.]

To create a bond with someone by sharing experiences is.. novel.
[Spock is quiet for a moment...]

If you require support... I will make myself available. [It was a sincere offer...]

[descrier]

There are many humans on Earth who feel the same way. Society doesn't exactly help in encouraging others to be open with their problems, lest they be deemed as 'weak.' [ But, Marita is a diplomat, and she cares deeply for a world that isn't based on secrets — even though she avoids telling her own — or shady transactions. ] When in reality, it is as you said, without support we are alone. Humanity... any beings in a community, as a whole holds a certain strength.

[ She sits in her own silence, looking downward at nothing in particular and mulling over Spock's offer. It's a kind gesture, one she's learned not to expect from rat bastards and government officials, but something her own career was once based on. Syndicates are not strength, communities are, and as it is, they are all trapped here subjects to experiments. ]

Thank you, Mr. Spock. I may take you up on that offer. [ A pause. ] Not now, but... some time.

[spohkh]

[Spock knew that there was something.. something that Marita had lived through that was life-changing.
To deal with such a catastophically defining moment alone meant that there was no one else there.

It was interesting to think that Marita and Spock had perhaps a few things in common. Who could you go to if no one really understood? It was like being alone in a sense.

Spock pondered this for only a moment, his opinion of the woman having permanently changed. She was so much more..]

Hopefully, I will be here when you are ready. I must admit that my one concern revolves around memory, and the fact that we do not have one of Luceti when we return home.
Whatever benefit you or I will have received here will be lost... for nothing. However, I will encourage you to also think of the one person back home that you can confide in. Perhaps when you return, you will be more inclined to speak to that one person.

[descrier]

I wouldn't say that forgetting the memories of Luceti would be entirely futile when we return home... we may not remember them, but that doesn't mean they never existed. [ She pauses for a moment. ] There is always the chance that we may remember them eventually... if this is a simulation of some sort.

[ Marita does not touch on that last part though, because the one person she can speak to about it is the one who placed it upon her in the first place. Simultaneously considered a traitor and worthy of being saved from For Marlene in the experiments in the span of a few years by the Cancer Man who no longer has a hold on her. Confiding in Alex Krycek, on the other hand, would be a laughable joke.

She supposes that it's not much different here either. ] But... rest assure Mr. Spock, neither of out efforts will not amount to nothing.

[spohkh]

[The fact that Marita has this much hope... gives him hope, and nearly a smile on his face.]

Your logic is sound Miss Covarrubias.
Perhaps you would be amenable to meeting in person in the near future?

[descrier]

Thank you and that would be wonderful. [ She certainly doesn't mind Spock's company, even if he is considered fictional to some, she certainly doesn't believe so. ] Perhaps when you recover, we can figure something out?

Thanks m'dear! That was fun! ^_^

[spohkh]

Of course.
Peace and long life to you Miss Covarrubias, until next we meet.
[Spock finds that he is looking forward to her company... ]