![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Personal Log #2/Action Post - A Week After Amnesia Event
[Spock is sitting on his bed and he stares at the journal which is currently residing on the desk across from him.
Spock had woken up this morning and knew he was alone in the house....his Captain was gone. And he knew that he had been taken... and Spock could feel that Captain Kirk was in pain...wherever he was.
Spock wondered at the futility of putting out a community-wide announcement to see if anyone had further information on Kirk's whereabouts. Spock was also rather disinclined to leave his house considering the damage he had inflicted during the bout of amnesia... he had not left the house in approximately 3.6 days. What if he had met someone he had 'assaulted'?
Spock puts his head down at that thought...he can recall his father's lectures on privacy and using telepathy on psy-null beings...these offenses were a severe violation and punishable in Vulcan society. If his home-planet still existed he would be outcast! The crimes he committed! It only proved that as a Vulcan, he was.... a poor example.
Spock abruptly gets up and starts to pace through the room. His meditation lately has left much to be desired, though it did resolve a rather significant issue. The link that he had forc...established with Mister Lupin was familial in nature and fairly easy to control. Lupin would not have to be burdened with this as long as Spock was able to keep his shields in place.
But the meditation itself? The effects from the physical contact had left Spock at mental loose ends. The memories and emotional transference...well, it left him emotionally compromised, and the nature of the contact made it rather difficult to resolve.
Spock's pacing slowed as he considered the other encounters he had...he was a disgrace... the things that happened, the beings he took advantage of... and he will never be able to look at the couch the same again.
He put his head in his hands and sat back down on the bed...there had to be a logical resolution to this...perhaps he needed, as they say, a 'change in scenery'. He looks up and glares a little at the journal. His frustration levels begin to rise once more.
.....everything....everything about Spock has been 'unraveling' since landing in Luceti. He has not felt this exposed since he was emotionally compromised on the Enterprise...and he was ashamed then too. Spock abruptly stands once more and stalks towards the desk. In a fit of anger he slams both fists down on either side of the journal... unknowingly turning it on. The wood splinters cut into his hands, but he does not feel it. The frustration has built into a blinding rage and he manages to shout in Vulcan...]
Nam-tor nash-veh sasu t’ek’kayik sut!
[Then he picks up the bed-side bureau and throws it out the window making a fantastic display of shattered glass and the deafening silence that follows the explosion of sound....
Spock stands amid the mess and just breaths...]
Spock had woken up this morning and knew he was alone in the house....his Captain was gone. And he knew that he had been taken... and Spock could feel that Captain Kirk was in pain...wherever he was.
Spock wondered at the futility of putting out a community-wide announcement to see if anyone had further information on Kirk's whereabouts. Spock was also rather disinclined to leave his house considering the damage he had inflicted during the bout of amnesia... he had not left the house in approximately 3.6 days. What if he had met someone he had 'assaulted'?
Spock puts his head down at that thought...he can recall his father's lectures on privacy and using telepathy on psy-null beings...these offenses were a severe violation and punishable in Vulcan society. If his home-planet still existed he would be outcast! The crimes he committed! It only proved that as a Vulcan, he was.... a poor example.
Spock abruptly gets up and starts to pace through the room. His meditation lately has left much to be desired, though it did resolve a rather significant issue. The link that he had forc...established with Mister Lupin was familial in nature and fairly easy to control. Lupin would not have to be burdened with this as long as Spock was able to keep his shields in place.
But the meditation itself? The effects from the physical contact had left Spock at mental loose ends. The memories and emotional transference...well, it left him emotionally compromised, and the nature of the contact made it rather difficult to resolve.
Spock's pacing slowed as he considered the other encounters he had...he was a disgrace... the things that happened, the beings he took advantage of... and he will never be able to look at the couch the same again.
He put his head in his hands and sat back down on the bed...there had to be a logical resolution to this...perhaps he needed, as they say, a 'change in scenery'. He looks up and glares a little at the journal. His frustration levels begin to rise once more.
.....everything....everything about Spock has been 'unraveling' since landing in Luceti. He has not felt this exposed since he was emotionally compromised on the Enterprise...and he was ashamed then too. Spock abruptly stands once more and stalks towards the desk. In a fit of anger he slams both fists down on either side of the journal... unknowingly turning it on. The wood splinters cut into his hands, but he does not feel it. The frustration has built into a blinding rage and he manages to shout in Vulcan...]
Nam-tor nash-veh sasu t’ek’kayik sut!
[Then he picks up the bed-side bureau and throws it out the window making a fantastic display of shattered glass and the deafening silence that follows the explosion of sound....
Spock stands amid the mess and just breaths...]
[Action]
You lost your memories, and didn't know you could psychically link with other individuals. Is that right?
Re: [Action]
And though I realize it is illogical to place blame on myself due to the circumstances... I cannot help but feel tremendous responsibility to the consequences of my actions.
....and in the interim I have been stripped of everything that means to be Vulcan....
[Action]
[The tea kettle whistles, so Luke takes a minute to pour two cups of hot, black tea]
Re: [Action]
I do not mean to sound skeptical, but what manner of help to you expect to provide?
[Action]
[He doesn't say that it doesn't always work, but it definitely makes it hurt less]
Re: [Action]
...there may have to be some alterations due to my Vulcan heritage... though it was always apart of our society to strengthen bonds and mental activity by meditating as a community.
I am....amenable to your suggestion.
[Spock is quiet for a moment, then takes a drink of tea....]
[Action]
Can you describe the symptoms of your trouble? What is making you lash out, and what sorts of impressions are in your mind?
Re: [Action]
It also brings up the issue that his 'problems' may be more psychological than he care to admit....everything was leaving him....no matter how hard he tried.]
I am unsure how to explain...though if you are sure you can protect yourself from my mental state, perhaps I can show you?
[Spock did not know how wise this suggestion was, considering all that has happened to his mind since the latest 'Shift'...however...there was something about these Jedi that implied something similar to Vulcan...]
[Action]
[Luke takes a drink from his teacup and takes a seat near Spock]
Please do.
Re: [Action]
Please inform me if you need to stop...
[Spock lifts his hand to Luke's face and places his fingers in the appropriate psy points.]
My mind to your mind....
My thoughts to your thoughts....
[Spock plunges them both into the plains of Spock's mind...and Luke finds himself in a desert covered in pieces of glass and broken mirrors.]
[Action]
Broken mirrors? Do these symbolize damaged relationships, or mental pathways?
Or something else entirely?
Re: [Action]
Greetings... welcome to my mind. You are probably wondering what these represent...
My teachers showed me how to compartmentalize my thoughts and memories using visuals. My mother was overly fond of a mirror that she had brought from her home and I was rather fascinated with it... so I borrowed that image.
These broken mirrors are broken threads... [Spock looks around at the vast expanse...]
As you can see, there are rather a lot of them. To some degree the entire Vulcan race shared a link with one another, and when my home planet was destroyed and most of the population with it... the survivors are left with this to deal with. And with the recent 'Shift' my barriers have been completely shattered.
It would seem to have been a mistake on my part to have assumed that I could contain mental shields properly after Vulcan's destruction.
[Action]
[Luke looks around, his eyes scanning the rather...large...expanse of shattered mirrors. His heart went out to Spock, much like it had when he'd learned of the destruction of Alderaan all those years ago. Spock bore a heavy burden, like Leia, being one of the last remaining of his world.
Of course he'd have difficulty. But Luke would do his best to help]
Where do you think your shields have come unraveled? And where are they failing? I may be able to help bridge some of the mental pathways to help you hold it all in.
Re: [Action]
[Spock starts to walk gesturing for Luke to follow...] The source, or rather, my Katra... the very center of my being now finds itself unsupported and unstable. Here... [Spock stops next to what appears to be a garden... it is pretty pathetic. There are a couple of flowers, and actually one rather attractive budding rose bush near one end of the...garden.
The rest is desolate.....]
Again, I have used visuals to create focus points for easier navigation and maintenance... and my mother loved her garden, and I was always fascinated by it. [Spock lowers himself and run his fingers through the dirt....] As you can see, the garden is not doing well.... I am curious as to what you can do, because the very ground is effected...
[Action] I'm not sure what you're OK with Luke doing, but here goes...
[Quietly, Luke takes in the Vulcan's words, carefully making his way over towards the most devastated looking flora and extending a hand, feeling outward with the Force. Blue-white light swirled around his fingertips and he brushed the plant lightly. He concentrated, the withered mental construct beginning to shift from a dull brown to a pale, almost healthy green. He turned to another, and another, the Force flowing from him like a fountain. Mind-healing, you said? That's something Luke's actually proficient in. Hopefully that will fix some of the damage.
Luke finally crouched and touched the ground, but he wasn't sure what he was feeling for]
(OOC: I'm not really sure what you are OK with Luke doing. He's helped repair mental/brain damage and neurological disorders in canon, as well as insanity brought on by the Sith. I'll leave it to you to decide what he's able to do!)
haha, yeah, sorry. It's new for me too. ^_^
When Luke moved from away from the garden to inspect the ground the plants started to wither once more. Unfortunately, you cannot fix what is no longer there... ]
...perhaps we can alter the conditions. [Spock looks up at the cloudless gray sky...]
[Ooc - This is cool man! ^_^ I'm enjoying this, so as long as you're good to go I'll let you know if it gets too off track. He isn't going to be healed in one sitting, but yeah. ^_^]
no subject
How would you suggest?
(OOC: Of course! It'll take lots of work, but maybe Luke can at least start healing some of the damage enough so Spock can calm down)
no subject
Perhaps... perhaps we need to make it rain.
no subject
Is that not something you can do?
no subject
It would seem that this is a process that I am unable to start on my own... can you help?
no subject
[Luke closes his eyes and concentrates, trying to make rain fall...but it'd be up to Spock if that would happen]
no subject
Spock's stance wavers a bit as he looses balance and kneels on the glassy sand.
Incidentally, that is when the first drop of hits the ground. ]
no subject
Good!
no subject
The image around them suddenly starts to blur as connection is slowly lost.
Luke and Spock are once more in the kitchen... Spock lifts a hand to his own face only to discover the tears that are streaming there...
no subject
Spock, are you alright? Did that help?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
reaction and then maybe fad to black perhaps?