spohkh | Personal Log #13 - Return [Video/Action]

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Personal Log #13 - Return [Video/Action]

[As the lights from the transporter beam dissipates, the Vulcan sways as he takes in the rather unexpected surroundings. There was one obvious conclusion:
This was not the Enterprise.

The Vulcan's mind buzzes with questions: Where was he? Where was Khan? Did he escape? Did the transporter malfunction? Did Nyota make it back to the Enterprise? The whole fight with the war criminal Khan seemed like a dream, an emotionally hazy, anger filled dream. Memories he didn't have for a whole year came flooding back, and he knew, he knew where he was now. This wasn't a trick of the mind, he was really back in this place.

Luceti...

An entire year later and he was brought back again at the most ill-conceived time. His Captain... his friend was dead and Khan's blood could supposedly bring him back to life? Certainly he had believed Nyota's words, but there was no concrete evidence given to him, and now he'll never know.
Spock looked around in quiet desperation, his brows furrowed with a rare vulnerability showing on his face. He shifted his back... yes, of course, there were the wings, sensitive as he remembered from his first days here in this infuriating place. The journal, his name embossed in gold gleamed in the sunlight, as if mocking him... but that was illogical. Bending at the waist, Spock picked up the journal, allowing its weight in his hand to remind him of the reality of the situation.

Green blood splattered on the journal as he opened it, he needed to see who was still here. The Vulcan breathed, wiping the strange coloured blood from the side of his mouth... and then opened his mouth to speak.]

Greetings residents of Luceti, I am Spock. I have been gone for approximately eleven point three months, however, considering the paradox of time that Luceti resides in, I do not know how long I have actually been away from here. If there is anyone still here that I know, information would be appreciated.

[Spock pauses to wipe more blood from his mouth.] I also require medical assistance.

[Action]

[Spock finds his way to the clinic so that his injuries can be seen to. Later, he can be found at the Dome, reorienting himself to Luceti and making sure his program files are still there, although he's only been gone a few days. In the evening Spock can be found around House #2, sitting on the porch with his Lyre, tired but amenable to talk.]

[ooc: Spock's been out of Luceti for just over two days, but if you've seen the movie Star Trek: Into Darkness, you'll know that Spock has been gone for about a year. The moment he's brought into Luceti is just as he is beamed back onto the ship after beating the crap out of Khan with Uhura's assistance. So have a beaten up Vulcan who's worried about his dead Captain. Cheers~]

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[That's not far from the truth, but Spock would never admit that out loud. Hesitantly, he steps forward and sits down by Jim's bed....]

What happened Jim? [Why the hell are you like this? But, he would never ask it like that.]

I... don't know.

_{[ He had hoped Spock would know, but that didn't seem to be forth
coming, did it. He gulped, looking away, trying to hide the tremors that
passed through him. ]}

Honestly, I... didn't think I'd ever wake up, Spock. I was so sure... I felt it, there, back then...

_{[ God, please know what he meant Spock, please understand what he had
asked of you, the thing you couldn't grant and the kindness you had given
him in the moments he thought his last. ]}

[Spock didn't understand. For all he knows, Jim could have died and then was transported here. Like Padme, or Clove, or countless other residents who are sent here. But one thing was for certain, Spock now knew that he was talking to a Jim from his timeline.]

Felt what? What is the last thing you remember? [He had to know...]

_{[ No one was around. It made Kirk edgy, but the nurse or doctor or whatever would pass by or sit out in the hall at a desk and he was comforted by their sight. The voices and words on the journal helped too, kept him from screaming or wanting to crawl of his skin or panic.

And now Spock was here. God, Spock was here and he felt himself breaking all over again, felt himself trapped in that chamber, felt the darkness creeping in and the numbing coldness as his body shut down. ]}

I asked... I asked you how not to feel... because I was so scared, Spock. I was terrified. I needed you to make it stop.

Edited 2013-11-19 05:29 (UTC)

[Spock shifts his weight so that he's sitting on the bed and gingerly reaches out to Jim. His desire is to draw him close... comfort him in some way, but his movements are awkward at best.]

Jim... I am sorry.

_{[ He got control of himself, shoved down the panic and the fear and the tears that threatened to burst forth. He was an emotional wreck and who could blame him? Not that he wanted to show it or admit it. ]}

It's okay, Spock.

_{[ It wasn't, and it was. Spock had been there in his final moments and that had meant everything to him. He had not passed into the dark alone, even if he had been terrified at the time.

Without thinking he shifted his hand, taking Spock's and holding it lightly. ]}

[Spock held onto that hand, squeezing it gently to remind himself that Jim was here.

His own eyes misted over as he barely held back a whine.]

It is not okay Jim, you... [He couldn't say it. 'you died' would not come out of his mouth.]

_{[ He gulped, knowing what he meant, and unable to say it too, not to him. He had said it to others, but he couldn't to Spock. He couldn't relive that moment with Spock. So he squeezed his hand tighter and shivered. ]}

Did you bring me anything? I'm running out of reading material in here.

Captain... [Spock sounded weary. He only just got here... and ten minutes before that he had the almighty crap beaten out of him by Khan.]

I have nothing to give you.

[He meant that in more than one way. He felt entirely responsible for Jim's death... and now he doesn't know if Jim will be alive when he returns to his universe.]

_{[ He looked at him and in a moment of tenderness, drawn up from
memories and emotions he couldn't deny, he reached up and touched Spock's
cheek. ]}

You've given me everything, Spock. I was... so scared, but you... you made me less scared in that moment. And hey, I'm back, right?

[Spock covered that hand with his own.]

You are alive as long as we remain in Luceti. There was a chance... Nyota said that Khan's blood would save you, but I do not know if it did.

[Spock doesn't want to go back to his own universe if Jim isn't in it.]

_{[ Kirk jerks back, alarmed.}

Khan's blood? His cells? Was that... was that why he was alive? It would make sense, but... he had some of that mad man in him? Well, he wasn't so mad, he was just angry and Kirk could understand why. But what would having that blood do to him? Certainly it made it so he could survive lethal radiation dosages. Christ... ]

What's happened to me, Spock?

[Spock hesitated... In his universe, time wise, Jim only just died in front of him a half hour ago. This was tough.]

May I show you? [He squeezes that hand again, trying to convince himself that Jim was really there.]

_{[ He gulped, knowing what the other meant. Did he want to see it? Did
he want to know? Did he want to relive that moment? Could he? He couldn't
say he was strong enough. He was sure he wasn't. But... he wanted to know.
He wanted to know what happened. ]}

Okay...

[Spock's hand, giving away a very slight tremor, touched Jim's face... aligning his fingers with his psy-points.]

My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts. [They were plunged into an inky darkness, where Spock's sorrow was not yet controlled. It swirled around them like dark clouds.

Breathing, the Vulcan parted them... and it gave way to an image. It was Jim, behind the glass.]

_{[ The sorrow was over whelming. It flooded him, and in his read body
tears slipped from beneath closed eyes. He reached blindly for Spock in the
world of their minds, seeking the comfort of his friend even if in that
sorrow he was not sure how he would find any.}

And then it shifted and vanished and he was looking at himself, himself and Spock, hands on the glass, and he nearly broke. His skin was red from the radiation, sweating and pale all at once. He wanted to go up behind the memory Spock, wrap his arms around him and tell him that it would be all right. But looking at that scene, he wasn't sure he believed it himself. ]

Spock...

[Spock couldn't answer Jim... the scene continued to unfold as Jim died behind the glass, and Spock cried out Khan's name. The following events were almost animalistic as Spock chased down the war-criminal.

The Vulcan was losing until Nyota showed up, giving Spock just enough leverage to get the upper hand on Khan. He was going to kill him, there was nothing stopping him now. This would make him feel better right?

But then the impossible happened. Nyota shouted that he couldn't kill Khan, because he might save Kirk. How.....?
How??? Spock didn't understand how, but he would hang onto that one shred of hope, and stayed his hand.

When they were beaming back to the ship with an unconscious Khan, Spock found himself here, in Luceti. And that's... that's everything that Spock can tell Jim.]

_{[ He gasped as he came out of the link, his eyes wet, but... Uhura
would not have told him those things if they weren't true. Why give false
hope? And seeing Spock like that... it shook him, deep inside. Spock wasn't
supposed to be like that, and he hated seeing the other man so torn from
the cool, collected Vulcan he knew.}

He reached for his hand again, clutching it. ]

It worked, Spock. It worked.

[Spock's voice was small...]

How do you know?

[He took hold of that hand like a life-line.]

Because Uhura wouldn't come and get you with a false hope. She just wouldn't. Bones must have figured something out. And if he figured it out, it'll be okay.

_{[ He gulped, needing to believe that as much as he wanted Spock to
believe it. ]}

[Spock inclined his head. He wanted so desperately for that to be true, and it was the only logical solution.]

Indeed, it is only logical. [Spock dared to make eye-contact with his Captain, and he dared even further when he closed the gap, leaning his forehead against Jim's.]

You will live.

_{[ He didn't fight it. He welcomed it, actually. It was contact, the
contact he had craved at the "final" moment, and if anyone could understand
what had happened, it was Spock. He reached up, hooking his fingers behind
Spock's neck tenderly. ]}

Did you expect any less of me? I just got my ship back, you know.

You continue to defy all odds Captain... Jim.

[He was so real, so alive in this moment, that Spock couldn't stop his hands from clasping Jim's shoulders, as if to hold them in this moment.]

It's my super power. I thought you knew that.

_{[ He didn't protest. He didn't have the heart for it. He didn't want
Spock to leave, he didn't want to be alone, afraid he'd go to sleep again
and face that numbing darkness that had nearly consumed him the first time.
His fingers toyed with the edges of Spock's hair on the back of his neck,
his eyes closed as he just saturated himself with touch and smell and being
alive. ]}

[Spock finds his own eyes fluttering closed, a light purr emminatting from his chest as the comforting touch. He could drown happily in this moment... to pretend that Jim's death never happened.]

Personal Log #13 - Return [Video/Action]

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