spohkh | Appointments

[Spock maintains contact with Jim's 'hand' for only a moment before hastily letting go..]

My apologies Captain... this venture was not a good idea. I am not ready...

[Spock and Jim are now in physical forms, standing next to the 'garden'. Spock's eyes are sad, and his movements suggest agitation.]

I thought I could prevent you from seeing this. Though perhaps I should explain. [Spock takes a breath and does not look at this Captain's face.] Every Vulcan child is encouraged to choose an image in which to retain and maintain their mental connections. This was once a close approximation of my mother's garden... she was very fond of gardening.

...Every Vulcan shares a link with the planet and each other. It is usually not a significant connection, but considering the number of casualties, it left the survivors quite a bit to contend with....and I am ashamed to say that my mind...not being fully Vulcan...is having...trouble adjusting to the loss.
[Spock seems to be very interested in the ground...]

_{[Kirk looked around the garden, his heart wrenching when he saw the poor state of it. It was, for the first time, a true representation of how much the loss of his mother and his planet had affected Spock. He knew it had, of course, but... he had always thought Spock would handle it better. It just seemed the sort of thing he did, you know?

He stepped further in and knelt by the nearest plant, considering it and then looking back at Spock, offering him a king smile.]}

It just needs a little TLC, right?

_{[He squeezed the Vulcan's 'shoulder' or 'hand', whichever worked in the mental space.]}

You don't need to hide this from me, Spock. You're my colleague and my friend. And you don't need to be ashamed. Frankly, after all your losses, if it wasn't like this I'd be more worried than I am.

[Spock nods....]

Of course... Thank you Captain. It has improved significantly over the last few weeks... [Though it may not look like it... it was actually true..]
And it will continue to improve, it will merely take time. However, if you are amenable... further meditative sessions will greatly contribute to this healing process. [Spock looks at his Captain... hopeful.]

_{[Kirk wasn't the sitting still kind of guy, not by a long shot, but when Spock showed emotion - enough for him to see it - he knew the other really meant it. His mouth quirked a bit and he nodded, looking around the garden.]}

Yeah, I think I can do that. Tell you what, you set aside a time each week or something, and I'll make sure to keep that clear so we can do this meditative stuff. How does that work?

_{[It would kind of be like the ship then, where everything ran on a schedule, clockwork. And, frankly, he didn't want to leave Spock like this - with a broken garden. It was saddening, really. Besides, he had failed to save Vulcan. He had been to late, and he felt responsibility for that. If meditating was Spock was a way to make up for it, to fix some of that mistake, that failure, then he would do it.]}

That... will be sufficient.

However, if you care to know of your 'place' in my mental awareness, you are here. [Spock gestures towards a small, vibrant white desert flower, nestled between brown, dead shrubbery.
It appeared to glow, as it was connected to the golden thread Kirk held in his hands.]

_{[Kirk blinked and walked over to it, crouching down as if in awe of the little thing. He wanted to ask what the shrubs on either side represented, but that might be something for another time.

His mouth quirked a bit.]}

White's a bit to pure for me, don't you think?

[Spock cannot help the green tint at his cheeks...]

Not at all Captain...

Perhaps...perhaps we should end this session and continue at a later date.

What? You sure?

_{[He looked over at the other, surprised.]}

But we just started didn't we?

_{[It was hard, though, to keep the smirk from his face when he caught that green tint on the other's cheeks.]}

[Spock could sense the amusement coming from his Captain...]

However, he made the image fade, and they were once more 'floating' in the black of Spock's subconscious. Spock's aura was always 'dark'... and took on a shade of blue. However, he was now in marvel of Jim's bright presence... a golden sun of warmth that paralleled his personality.]

Your mind is... quite intriguing Captain... [Spock wanted to reach out to that warmth... but he did not allow himself.]

You think so?

_{[He turned to look at him, smiling brightly and 'swam' over, taking this wrist and squeezing.]}

Hey, you're not hiding things from me again, are you?

[Spock was not expecting the Captain to be able to navigate so freely during a meld... however, he has been known to underestimate him.
The contact though gave another unexpected response. As soon as Jim 'touched' his subconscious with his own, and was literally bathed in the warmth of his golden presence he knew, he knew what they were.

...T'hy'la...

And this frightened him drastically.

Spock's mind literally jumped, and they were instantly pulled from the meld. They were once again facing each other over a low lit candle.

Spock was contemplating running again. How can he hide this from Jim? His skirt chasing, no commitment, commanding officer?]

_{[Kirk groaned as they came out of the meld, holding his head in his hands.]}

Ow... Jesus, what was the for? Couldn't you have done that a bit more gently?

_{[He glared at Spock, continuing to hold his head.]}

[Spock stood... his hands were shaking, but he hid them by clasping them harshly behind his back.

He then started to methodically pace around the room, blowing out the candles.]
My apologies Captain. Your mind.... shocked mine with the contact. In my current state I was not able to hold the meld. [Yeah... that could be a believable lie.
But for now he needed to think...and his breathing was off.... This was just too much.
How could this happen?]

Oh, okay.

_{[He watched the other with narrow eyes, trying to see if that was a lie or not. It was hard to tell with Spock. If anyone could cheat a polygraph, it would be him...

He got to his feet, picking up the candle from the floor to set it on the counter.]}

You going to be okay? Do you need something to calm you down?

[Spock's shoulders drooped in defeat, though he kept his eyes downcast as he addressed his Captain.]

I...I will be 'okay' in time Sir. This requires extensive meditation... however... I thank thee for the concern.

Well, I know it's bad when you bust out the 'thees' and the 'thous'.

_{[He frowned at him, still worried.]}

Here, I'll go get us some juice.

_{[He made for the kitchen to fetch said juice and glasses.]}

[Spock cannot help but find this quality in his Captain endearing as he follows Jim out to the kitchen.
He takes a seat on the barstool as glasses are placed out in front of him.

His mind though is a terrible whirlwind of thoughts... how was this situation possible? There was not a recorded pairing of T'hy'la since the reformation. Yet, his mind was Vulcan, and he was capable of recognizing this for what it was...

However, he did not know how Jim would react to it. So for now, he will remain silent.
Spock's trembling hands were hidden under the counter.]

_{[Kirk poured them each a healthy amount of juice and brought it over, setting the glass down in front of Spock. If he noticed trembling, or anything else overly strange, he made no mention of it. He had always thought the Vulcan as full of pride as any human, though he passed it off as being logical. Still, he knew better than to poke at it.]}

Come on, drink up. I know it's not the breakfast of champions or anything, but it'll make you feel better.

[Spock takes the proffered juice after a moment used to collect his nerves... and drinks.

Though it is illogical.... the juice does seem to make him feel better.]

My thanks Captain. Perhaps at this time I should retire. [Spock stands...]

_{[He reaches out, grabbing the other's wrist before he can go to far. He gives him a serious look, those bright eyes of his sparking with intensity.]}

Spock... if anything is wrong, you'll tell me, right?

Of course Captain... [Spock would never call the bond they share 'wrong'... just highly unexpected and inexpiable at the moment.

However, if this bond proved to be a source of pain for Jim... he would take appropriate measures.]

Goodnight Sir...

[Spock walks to his room, and disappears behind the door.]

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fade-ith to black-ith? XD