spohkh | Appointments

[Insecurity traveled from Spock...]

If you do not want to, I will completely understand... I can end the meld at this time. [Spock was actually a wee bit relieved...

_{[ Kirk glared at him, and for a minute the warm center orb that was himself flashed red with his anger.]}

Will you stop that? Seriously, I need to boot you through reading human tone boot camp.

And now, just because you said and... felt that, I want to see it.

[Spock took another look at the golden sun...

Even here Jim was the center of his Universe... and he wanted to touch it.]

Very well... please follow me. [Spock started to walk back the way they came... through the door and into the black abyss.]

_{[Kirk looked back at his little made universe and followed Spock, keeping close as they shifted into the colder dark. He wrapped his arms around himself, wondering it was he would see... if he wanted to see it.]}

[The darkness shifted around them... slowly brightening...

...and the heat was suddenly intense.
They found themselves in a middle of a desert...and a small Vulcan style cement house was in front of them.

Spock opened the door and led them through... There was a garden at the back of the house. A very large garden.

However... the fountain in the middle was dry, there were no flowers, and the greenery was decidedly brown. The trees that framed the edges of the garden were limp and did not look well.

Spock led them through the garden via a nice little walk way... There in the dirt, hidden among the brown foliage, was a beautiful desert flower. It was large... the size of a serving platter. Its center was bright yellow, and the golden thread found its root here, almost making the flower luminescent.
Spock turns to Jim.]

This is you.

_{[A part of Kirk was horrified at the state of the garden. This was nothing like the Spock he knew, so neat and clean. This thing was decayed, dying. And that... that scared him. It was like knowing someone was dying and then seeing it before your eyes, watching them wither like a flower in winter.

He looked over to the flower Spock had picked out, the only thing truly alive in this place and he stared at it, not sure what to say. What to do. What could he say?]}

What happened?

_{[ Get everything off him for a minute, focus on the bigger picture.]}

It has been like this since the collapse of Vulcan. Each of these plants represent the connection shared with the planet. Individual people take on a more floral form.

[If Jim looks around, he will see two or three little bushes with little budding flowers on them... but nothing quite so significant as the giant flower in front of them.

However, in the center of the garden, right next to the fountain, was a bush....and it was black, as if charred. It may have been a rose bush at some point.]

It will take time... but the garden will eventually repair itself... [It would take a life-time though without great aid. And Spock didn't have access to a mind healer.]

_{[Jim knew the loss of Vulcan had greatly hurt Spock. How could it not? Seeing your home die like that, seeing your mother die... he had been spared watching the death of his own parent.

But he had never truly grasped how very... intrinsic it was to a Vulcan, and certainly not to Spock.

He gulped, not wanting to look, to see the carnage, the devastation.

Instead he turned to Spock.... and hugged him.]}

It'll be okay.

_{[Because for some reason, that needed to be said, as if saying it would make it true.]}

[Spock stiffened in the sudden embrace...

...but soon melted into it. The Vulcan wrapped his arms around Jim in return, and clutched at the shirt...leaning his head on Jim's shoulder.

Around them it started to rain... The Vulcan's frame shook with silent sobs. Through the link, a string of Vulcan words floated towards Jim... they were soothing...
...enticing. As if it were a sirens song.]

_{[ That alone was a shock to Kirk. Emotion, he thought, was a foreign thing to Spock. Oh sure, he had made him show it when his mother died, but that was different.

Quietly he held him, rubbing his back, letting him cry it out. It was hard to imagine a Vulcan crying, but maybe this was the human side of Spock.

And then he heard the words, like a song.]}

Spock, what's that?

[The Vulcan shivered in Jim's hold...How could he tell Jim that it was the bond singing? That their closeness was causing it?
Would Jim run from him again?]

It... It is the bond Jim.

_{[ That made him tense, but he was aware enough to think that pulling away suddenly would only serve to whither this garden more, and he didn't want that. He remembered seeing it before, beautiful, breathing. And now... black. It was to much.

He pulled back only slightly, though he kept hugging him, if less tightly.]}

Did you tell me everything there was to this bond, Spock?

[Spock moved away from Jim.]

My.. my apologies. I did not intend for you to see that. [Being emotionally compromised in front of Jim seemed to be a running gag now.]

I have told you everything that I am aware of. This is you... you are my T'hy'la.... the rest of this garden represents severed bonds... but it will become better with time as new bonds replace them.

_{[ He walked over to a nearby bloom and he knelt, reaching out to touch the whither blooms, wincing at how dry the felt, like old paper, ready to crumble.]}

Are they some that are still okay? I mean, come on, I can't be your only friend.

[Spock pointed to another bush with small red flowers...]

That is Sa-kai.... Arsene Lupin. If he had not been there... I do not know what would have happened.
It is getting better Jim... please do not worry about me. The fear that I hold now is of leaving Luceti... and the repercussions of losing the bonds once again.]

_{[ Kirk looked back at him, frowning a moment. ]}

You know... they say that, even though somebody's gone, they're never really gone, you know? Just because you or they can't be there physically, doesn't mean what you have with them is lost.

_{[ God, he hated trying to be deep. It wasn't his thing, and he know that it sounded awkward coming from his mouth. But he was trying, okay? ]}

[Spock nodded... He knew Jim was trying, and he appreciated it.]

I understand Jim. [Spock also knew that Jim didn't understand the nature of physical bonds... having someone die who did not leave their katra behind physically harmed a Vulcan.
It would be like starting over.]

_{[ He turned sharply suddenly and marched up to the other, glaring at him.]}

Do you, Spock? Because, seriously, if something's wrong you need to tell me so when things go sideways I can help you fix it.

How Jim?! How do expect to fix something when you cannot even remember it?

If I leave Luceti before you... I fear damaging your mind... If you leave... I...

I do not know what would happen. I might not recover.

Some things you don't forget, Spock!

_{[He breathed heavily, licking his lips, staring at him.]}

And like hell I'm leaving you to rot here! If I go, you're coming with me and I should clock you for thinking otherwise!

You seem to forget that we have been here before Jim! [Spock was furious, how could Jim possibly make these assumptions?]

We forget everything that happens to us here! But a bond, a bond can cross universes, but Luceti could break it. I do not wish to face that darkness alone again Jim.

I... I cannot...

Yeah, we might have, but that was before. This is now. Things never happen the same twice - unless it's a proven scientific theory, and even then I have my doubts.

_{[ He came up and gripped his wrist, hard, hearing that music again, but choosing to ignore it. ]}

For once, set that stupid logic of yours aside and trust me.

[Spock gapes at Jim... the singing around them increases and it gets hot... very hot.

It's sweltering and the Vulcan steps closer to Jim, invading his space... All around him the image wavers and the garden disappears.

They are now back on the couch, and Spock has leaned forward to capture his Captain's lips.]

_{[ The shock of coming back so suddenly was a harsh one, making his forehead bloom with pain. But he shoved it down, placed his hands on the other's shoulders and gently pushed him back. Not like during the week of Valentine's. Not that. But... still back.]}

Spock... I... I'm sorry, I'm just not...

[Spock breathed, and allowed himself to be removed from Jim.]

You should not be the one apologizing Jim...It is I who should apologize to you.

[Spock put space between them.]

You have my promise Captain, that I will no longer approach you in this manner unless you give me permission.

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