spohkh | Appointments

I see...

[He closed his eyes on the exhale and reached out to touch the strangely healthy plant. The physical factors always helped him center his focus--it was why the kickboxing helped more than any amount of standard meditation.]

[Spock opened his eyes as the first drops of rain hit him... he spread out his hands to feel it...disbelief evident on his face.

Spock stands...the desert scene around them starting to dissolve.]

I..I am not sure what is happening.....

Rain, that's what.

[Lupin joined him, looking up at the falling droplets in curiosity.] Why not just...let it rain?

I..Do not...

[The scene completely dissolves and Lupin and Spock are once more in their rooms, the fire steadily burning between then....

Spock lifts his hand to his own face and notices the stream of tears pouring down his face... his shocked face contrary to everything that is Vulcan....]

What....?

Rain. Kind of.

[It was strange to see the tears once again, and a knot tied in his gut at the sight even as he put on a smile. Lupin reached out for one of Spock's hands and offered a gentle, reassuring squeeze.]

Rather...tears. [He huffed in bitter amusement.] Man, that was one helluva first Shift for you. my first one had me unconsciously stealing odd things and forced me to be honest for a week.

[Spock quickly wipes his tears away and abruptly stands...]

I...I need some time alone...

[Spock makes for the exit...]

....

Right.

[Lupin stood as well--and stumbled into the table at the rush of vertigo. He caught himself with a firm, steady hand, but his own focus was gone. Between the altitude, the overheating, and the overwhelming meditation, he was done for the night.

Sleep would be quick and deep, but he needed that cigarette first. And a fresh pot of tea was in order.

Tea helped the things that alcohol (or hot chocolate in this case) could not.]

[Spock does not go far...he feels...relieved and awful at same time. However, the conflicting emotions seem to be easier to handle.

He finds a warm place and sits... and immediately falls into a meditative state, repairing his shattered ends.]

[Sleep did hit him quickly and deeply that night, and Lupin awoke in his futon the next morning without memory of his dreams but feeling...refreshed. The lingering heaviness from the repeated bouts of vertigo kept him in his futon, content with simply dozing.

There was no pressure to get up or do anything, and no real responsibilities that day except to stick by Spock and simply relax. But, as Spock had needed to consider himself the night before, Lupin needed to do the same that morning.

He was awake enough, but he wouldn't be moving for a little while.]

[Spock came out of meditating not long ago and is making his way back to their rooms....

He silently enters and sits down on his sleeping mat...]

[It was the disturbance in the wind, only noticed because of his work with Kipinn, that drew Lupin attention. He stirred and looked over at Spock through the muddled haze of sleep. A moment passed before comprehension dawned--he yawned.]

Funny seeing you here.

[Spock tilts his head, and amused expression on his face...]

I am curious as to why you find amusement in seeing me at this location when you did in fact bring me here in the first place.

[Then he paused...]

...I owe you a debt of gratitude sa-kai.

[He stretched, sat up, and covered his eyes with his palm when the vertigo threatened--it was a daily thing, and annoying.]

It was just a statement. [Whining. He hadn't expected Spock to return just like that. Another stretch, and he paused at Spock's quietly uttered thanks.]

I...didn't really do anything.

[Spock leans forward and gives Lupin's shoulder a warm squeeze and says before withdrawing...]

You did everything...

I also put you through much more than I intended, and for that I apologize.

[Spock knew that what they did last night was incredibly personal...but a desert after a rainfall? Spock's mind was in a much better position than it has been since the destruction of Vulcan.]

You must have questions...

...This place has put me through worse. Last night wasn't terrible.

[It was only uncomfortably personal. Lupin nodded in similar greeting and offered a smile. The events from the night before felt more distant after a night's sleep, and he was able to admit to a certain sense of catharsis in hindsight. None of his problems were fixed, but he had found something that he couldn't define. A little plant, alone in the desert, had never seemed so significant before.

He still couldn't accept it, but he was starting to see what Spock meant by the 'mutual trust' that they found.]

Last night...it was all a metaphor, wasn't it?

[Spock nods in understanding....He had safely assumed that Lupin had been through much during his stay here.]

It was a metaphor... in a sense.
What you saw in my mind were the projections I have personally placed to identify my bonds and emotions. You helped trigger an event that started a healing process that I did not know was possible.

[Spock pauses for a moment...]

The golden thread that you experienced... that was real. So too was the red glow that identified your presence. You have a rather enigmatic mind.

[A flash of a smirk.]

Should I consider that a compliment? [Because, realistically, he was still treading in strange territory. Old habits were more comfortable until he got more information.

He sobered quickly. This wasn't a joke.]

So the desert, the mirrors, and the plants are like a hard copy of digital data, something that helps you externalize and process on a different level...

...You haven't given yourself a chance to grieve, have you?

[Spock considers before he answers... he has never encountered grief like this before... as a Vulcan he was never trained to contain or deal with this magnitude. But he was wrong... he was never supposed to contain it.

...

He had to recognize that he was half-human.]

It would appear not... [Spock fell into a thoughtful silence...]

Well...[He spoke slowly, and chose his words carefully,] you have nothing but time here. There's no Star Fleet, no missions or orders...

[Spock huffs a bit at that... if anything that fact is a rather unnerving one. He has been working and following orders for...

well...]

There is indeed ample time to heal and meditate here. I suppose I could use it.

[Spock sighs in resignation and lies down on the sleeping mat beside Lupin, looking up at the ceiling.]

Ka'adith....

Right. Ka'adith. That's the best way to look at this place...

[He leaned back on his hands, physically expressing the weariness that was in his tone. There was also ample time to think on how static his existence had become, how complacency might very well become an inevitability. He could use it as a tool...but to what end?

Questions for later. The moment was more important.]

That flower. The one from last night. Does it have any significance?

[Most everything else in the constructed landscape, from the clouds to the glass, had a hidden meaning. He was curious.]

The flower is you.

It represents our bond and the life that it provides to the landscape of my mind. [Spock looks a little sheepish....for a Vulcan...]

For obvious reasons I kept the shared link from taking advantage... my mind was in such a state that it was....'greedy'...and it depended on that flower, on you.

I realize we have not known each other for very long, and this situation forces the closeness between us instead of letting it take its nature course.

[He watched Spock's face carefully as he thought over the explanation. That little flower...in wake of how shattered Spock's inner mind really was, must have been one of the few things that kept him sane in the aftermath of the last experiment. Lupin nodded in understanding.]

That's...fine. [Because it can't be anything but.] I've had many problems lately myself, by grace of the Malnosso and personality differences. I don't mind helping...but in a way we may have been taking advantage of each other. It goes both ways, you know.

[A sigh. He wanted coffee, but tea would suffice.] Just because we've been forced into it doesn't mean that we can't take our time. It's likely that I wouldn't have bothered you very much again after our first meeting before that Shift, [if only because of his prior experiences with cultural icons,] but it's given us something interesting.

It's a change in the norm around here. Change...can be good.

[Spock sighs and relaxes.. glad that Lupin is taking this so well. Though he did not have much doubt that he would not.]

Infinite diversity in infinite combinations.... Change is indeed an accepted Vulcan practice, though it can still prove challenging at times. But we will persevere.

[Spock throws on a half-smile once more....]
Perhaps someday, when I have meditated more and you are amenable, I will show you the link once more... I can guarantee you that matters have greatly improved since last night.

[It was a factor that was there. It was pointless to fight against, but he still wasn't sure how he would process it. So many other factors needed to be properly considered...

Once life slowed down and restabilized. Too much was going on--because he wasn't ready to process any of it.]

We...can do that sometime. It would be good for both of us.

It's good seeing you calmed down again.

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And the next day...

Re: And the next day...

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