spohkh | Appointments

Okay.

_{[He smiled softly and closed his eyes, his face smoothing out as he tried to make it easier for the other to make the connection.]}

Just let me know when we're starting.

We shall start now.

[Spock breaths for a moment, and puts everything he has into his shields. His Captain must not see how damaged he really is.]

My mind to your mind...
My thoughts to your thoughts...

[They are suddenly plunged into inky blackness...

Can you hear me Captain?

_{[Okay. Had been hoping for psychedelic colors, but nope, just black. It was mildly disappointing, but he wasn't going to make a fuss over it now.]}

Uh yeah... am I doing this right? Last time I sort of just got things shoved at me

That was in a moment of emergency Captain... and still highly not suggested by Vulcans.

The atmosphere is black because this is the state of the mind at rest. To think is to bring up images... a rather unconscious process.
However, at this time I am in control and I will attempt to show you the link that is between us.

[The blackness shifts... and suddenly it gets colder.]

_{[He noticed, and outwardly, he shivered.]}

Uh... cold? Really cold?

M-my apologies Captain... one moment.

Spock focuses and moves them away from the area of the broken bonds. He is still working hard to hide it from his Captain... hence the real reason for the darkness.

The darkness finally breaks, and there is a weak light pulsing somewhere intangible.]

_{[That stuttering again. Spock was hiding something from him, and that sent a sliver of worry sparking in him, and also hurt. He didn't like Spock hiding things from, not trusting him.]}

Oh... it feels... warm...

_{[Without realizing it, he tries to drift towards it, to reach out and touch it if he could.]}

I will caution you before you do that Captain.

That light represents the link that we share. Touching it can have various results. However, it may recognize you...

[Spock is hiding for Jim's safety. Jim must not know... it would undo him again.]

What happens if it does?

_{[His reaction is to turn, to try and look for Spock, as if they were having a physical conversation. He could feel himself 'looking' for him, but not 'seeing' him. Which, you know, not like he could even see his own hands so there wasn't much stock in that theory was there?

Still, it felt odd, and more like he was alone than he was with someone. It felt odd, and not to good, really. Biting his lip, so to speak, he went closer to the glowing bond, 'reaching' out to brush it.]}

[Spock had the ability to give their atmosphere a physical landscape, but he did not want to risk it at this point. He did want to let Jim see the desolation that was his mental state.

However, as Jim reached forward, the light jumped towards him and wrapped around him, warming the atmosphere.

Spock sighed...]

It would seem that it recognizes you. If you wish you can familiarize yourself with it, so that you can recognize it.

_{[Kirk laughed in the dark, smiling as it wrapped around him.He lifted a piece and rubbed it against his cheek (or at least it felt like he did), so warm and... right, was that it? Maybe, he wasn't sure. He didn't exactly have the right words to explain what was going on, much less how he was reacting. But it was positive, he knew that.]}

All right. How do I do that? You should really show yourself, it's easier when I can see you

[Spock hesitated for a moment... the atmosphere changed and suddenly Spock was standing there, back straight, hands clasped behind his back. The only show of discomfort was the fact that his eyebrows were creased.

Spock moved forward to where Kirk was now standing with a small golden thread in his hands... it seems to lead nowhere...]

Try to reach out with your mind. Experience how it makes you feel.

Okay, I'll give it a shot. What, like throwing a fishing line or something?

_{[He concentrated, taking his own analogy and running with it, tossing out like a fishing line into water.]}

[Spock quirks an eyebrow at his Captain's analogy, but there is always creative license in your own mind.

Kirk's line does indeed 'catch' something, and the golden thread is tugged. Both of them should be experiencing the 'tug' in their own mind.

The thread pulls a little from the distance...]

I am fascinated by your analogy Captain... [Spock hopes he does not follow the thread...]

Whoa. This is so... surreal, you know?

_{[He grinned, letting out a soft laugh and began to move towards the tug, bright with curiosity into this new way of seeing things. Like swimming through stars or something.]}

[Spock is concentrating, so he does not notice Jim moving towards the end of the thread... he is trying to keep everything in darkness but his control is starting to slip....]

Spock! Spock come look! Or, I mean... well, you know what I mean. Where do you think this is headed?

He continues to follow it, giddy, excited, feeling the sort of rush like he had on the Enterprise whenever they came up on a new planet, wondering what would be waiting for him.

[Spock does not move... he is trying his best not to break....

The darkness around them flickers until in its place is a barren desert.
The golden cord is still attached to Jim and leads to a rather desolate looking garden...]

_{[Jim starts, shocked. What in the world was this? He looked around, trying to make sense of it, and in some ways it reminded him of his dust bowl home.

But, he also recognizes part of this too. He recognizes it perhaps as something like Vulcan too. He bit his lip, quiet for a bit, and after a moment he mentally reached out take Spock's 'hand' and give it a squeeze.]}

[Spock maintains contact with Jim's 'hand' for only a moment before hastily letting go..]

My apologies Captain... this venture was not a good idea. I am not ready...

[Spock and Jim are now in physical forms, standing next to the 'garden'. Spock's eyes are sad, and his movements suggest agitation.]

I thought I could prevent you from seeing this. Though perhaps I should explain. [Spock takes a breath and does not look at this Captain's face.] Every Vulcan child is encouraged to choose an image in which to retain and maintain their mental connections. This was once a close approximation of my mother's garden... she was very fond of gardening.

...Every Vulcan shares a link with the planet and each other. It is usually not a significant connection, but considering the number of casualties, it left the survivors quite a bit to contend with....and I am ashamed to say that my mind...not being fully Vulcan...is having...trouble adjusting to the loss.
[Spock seems to be very interested in the ground...]

_{[Kirk looked around the garden, his heart wrenching when he saw the poor state of it. It was, for the first time, a true representation of how much the loss of his mother and his planet had affected Spock. He knew it had, of course, but... he had always thought Spock would handle it better. It just seemed the sort of thing he did, you know?

He stepped further in and knelt by the nearest plant, considering it and then looking back at Spock, offering him a king smile.]}

It just needs a little TLC, right?

_{[He squeezed the Vulcan's 'shoulder' or 'hand', whichever worked in the mental space.]}

You don't need to hide this from me, Spock. You're my colleague and my friend. And you don't need to be ashamed. Frankly, after all your losses, if it wasn't like this I'd be more worried than I am.

[Spock nods....]

Of course... Thank you Captain. It has improved significantly over the last few weeks... [Though it may not look like it... it was actually true..]
And it will continue to improve, it will merely take time. However, if you are amenable... further meditative sessions will greatly contribute to this healing process. [Spock looks at his Captain... hopeful.]

_{[Kirk wasn't the sitting still kind of guy, not by a long shot, but when Spock showed emotion - enough for him to see it - he knew the other really meant it. His mouth quirked a bit and he nodded, looking around the garden.]}

Yeah, I think I can do that. Tell you what, you set aside a time each week or something, and I'll make sure to keep that clear so we can do this meditative stuff. How does that work?

_{[It would kind of be like the ship then, where everything ran on a schedule, clockwork. And, frankly, he didn't want to leave Spock like this - with a broken garden. It was saddening, really. Besides, he had failed to save Vulcan. He had been to late, and he felt responsibility for that. If meditating was Spock was a way to make up for it, to fix some of that mistake, that failure, then he would do it.]}

That... will be sufficient.

However, if you care to know of your 'place' in my mental awareness, you are here. [Spock gestures towards a small, vibrant white desert flower, nestled between brown, dead shrubbery.
It appeared to glow, as it was connected to the golden thread Kirk held in his hands.]

_{[Kirk blinked and walked over to it, crouching down as if in awe of the little thing. He wanted to ask what the shrubs on either side represented, but that might be something for another time.

His mouth quirked a bit.]}

White's a bit to pure for me, don't you think?

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