spohkh | Appointments

Not entirely, but that is accurate assessment. I am rather 'hallowed out' at the moment, and need to regain the constructs of my previous mental state...with a few personal adjustments. Having you here will greatly aid that process.

[Spock sits tailor style on one of the mats and lights the fire-pot]

How is the tea?

Tea, right...

[He turned back to check on it and, satisfied, he poured a small cup for each of them. Green tea--a sencha, if he guessed correctly--was the offered fare, and it would suit them fine.

Lupin joined Spock on the mat across from his and passed over a cup.]

We can do that. Meditate. If that helps you.

[Spock takes tea in hand and nods his thanks... taking a sip he regards Lupin...]

Indeed, your help will be most appreciated. However, while we drink our tea, perhaps you can tell me of your own state of mind. I hope I did not push you too far out in the pool.

[Lupin sat cross legged on his mat and paused mid-sip at Spock's question. He swallowed and lowered his cup, but didn't set it down.]

...I'm not in the habit of talking about myself.

[It was said calmly. His gaze never wavered for a moment as he spoke.]

[Spock hummed at that response and remained thoughtful for a moment.]

I have often questioned the logic behind sharing ones feelings with others. However, my mistake was placing humans in the same category with Vulcans...
There is a cathartic effect to share your thoughts with others. I will never force information from you Sa-Kai, but know if there is ever anything that is troubling you... you can tell me.

I understand that the nature of this bond has caused us to become 'closer' than which is considered the norm in social constructs. The amount of trust that is needed to allow someone to carry a link to your mind is... to borrow a human idiom 'heavy'. [Spock takes another sip of tea, enjoying its warmth.]
It seems we have forced several boundaries, and you have been nothing but exemplary and accepting this entire time... though there are some aspects of this that concern me I must prioritize myself. But know you can voice your concerns at any time. [Spock had never had this kind of tea before... it was most pleasing.]

[He knew that there was a certain catharsis in taking others into confidence and sharing worries or concerns. It took some of the burden off of his shoulders, so he didn't have to think about it as hard any longer. He knew all of this, but trust was always the problematic factor. He had Smoker as his trainer and Law as his sometimes counselor, but there were few beyond that whom he considered close enough to try that with. Fujiko was a possibility, but she was as untrusting and cagey as he was. He couldn't rely on it. He knew it.

The others he had tried to trust were the same ones with whom he had fought. That level was months in the making.

But the events in the Dome with Spock were wholly different, and he knew parts about Spock that few others did. Similarly, Spock could say the same about him. It was a rarity in any world and he didn't necessarily want to ruin it.

He took another sip of his tea, enjoying the smooth, mellow taste of it.]

I understand that, and you're right in placing yourself first. You've been through a lot lately, and you have other events that you need to process.

...Look. I know that you're not going to intentionally do anything harmful, and my issues aren't really about you. This situation is just...

It's uncomfortable for me.

I believe I understand...

[Spock pauses as he levels Lupin with a steady gaze...]

But please note sa-kai, that I am here for you if you ever feel you want to unburden yourself.

[Spock breaks the gaze to take a sip of tea and hums in apparent pleasure. He is rather fond of tea.]

[He noted it and filed it away, but he wasn't certain how to accept such support. The Dome was a special occasion. Neither of them knew better...but what Spock said was true. Lupin sipped his tea as well and mulled over his response as he enjoyed the simplicity of it.]

I'll remember that. It's just...difficult.

[Spock gives Arsene a small smile as he sets down his empty cup...
Spock knows that Lupin will come to him when he is ready and not a moment before.]

[Spock leans forward and moves his hands closer to the flame, appreciating the warmth...

It is an odd sensation to have memories, that were once tightly contained and categorized, freely move throughout his mind....

Spock starts to breath deeply and methodically.]

[Lupin finishes his tea as well and settles in, carefully studying Spock's movements. After a moment, he speaks up.]

What are you doing?

[Spock breaths in deeply...]

I am attempting to center myself before I bring us both into a meditative state.

Let me know when you are ready and I will connect our minds.

[Lupin nodded, and tried to ignore the spark of uncertainty. Though they had all ready done this before, the circumstances were entirely different. They either didn't know, or they were focused on practicality.

He took a deep breath and finished off his tea. The cup was set aside, along with his lingering doubts. They would be dealt with later.

This was important, for both of them to try.]

...okay. [he said at length,] what do you need me to do?

[Spock encourages Lupin to come closer so that their knees are almost touching... but to leave enough room for the small pot between them.

Spock then lifts one hand and gestures for Lupin to lean forward....]

[Lupin drew closer after a hesitant moment and leaned forward as indicated. He didn't close his eyes or look away, but he faced it like he did every challenge: straight forward, and undeterred.]

[Spock gives a moment of hesitation before flexing his fingers then gently placing them along the psy-points on Lupin's face..]

Sa-kai.... My mind to your mind...

My thoughts to your thoughts..

[...Then they were both plunged into inky blackness...]

[At first there was nothing but cold darkness...
Gradually a red glow accompanied by warmth began to fill the space...

Then as if from a distance...]

...sa-kai?

[He wasn't sure which was work. The inky darkness or the sterile white of that cell that the Malnosso had thrown him in for the week prior to the last Shift. The darkness was inherently more comfortable to him for it's practicality. It was a tool, like everything, and the shadows had saved him more than once.

Lupin looked off into the black and tilted his head when he thought he heard something off in the distance. A moment passed before he fully grasped the situation.

Meditation. right.]

I'm here.

[His tone was even, somewhat mystified. His own attempts could be better described as chasing butterflies. His thoughts, ideas, observations, and ponderings always seeped through any outside veil of calm that he tried to absorb.]

[Spock nudged his mental shields until they gave way and fully relaxed his mind in Lupin's presence. The brokenness and loneliness was evident, but it was not as chaotic as before....

A blue glow hugged around Lupin's presence...]

Allow me to show you around.. [There was a hint of amusement attached to that statement as Lupin was tugged further into Spock's mind.]

Eventually memories and impressions started to flow along the edges of the darkness, growing in number and speed the further they went.]

[Lupin didn't fight against it. Not this time. The subtle amusement that he heard in Spock's tone was a familiar anchor in the maze of images and impulses that he was being led through. His own tension gave way to curiosity, and he understood then how intensely personal a mind meld really was for a Vulcan.

Had he the ability to do so, he would never be willing to use it. There were parts of him that he just didn't want people to know.

...He had to respect Spock for sharing this much of himself.]

Where are we going? [Because he wanted to know. He always wanted to know.]

We are going to the source of the link, please bear with me for a moment....]

[Spock brings them through a blur of images, it seems to hit a crescendo until it is finally silent once more...

This is...difficult. Spock hopes that Lupin is not 'turned off' by the amount of personal information he is receiving from his mind... but it is an unfortunate effect due to his lack of control. But Spock cannot allow himself to think on this too much due to emotional transference.... he wants to make this as simple experience for Arsene as he possibly can.]

[The silence gives way to a scene...a desert covered in glass and broken mirrors. Some of the mirrors depict a scenes of traumatic events...

...a planet imploding....

...Kirk's bloody face....

...a wild creature..

.....imposing Vulcan adolescents...

...a woman falling....

...Lupin's face after the Shift.......

[It was the candid nature of their interaction that baffled Lupin, but didn't drive him away. He was reminded of Grune's acceptance of everything he said, and of how open Ikki was about everything to him. He didn't know what to do with it.

He needed to concentrate on Spock's presence to not be overwhelmed by the sheer influx of emotions and impressions that simply weren't his. That was Spock, he knew. Lupin tried to compartmentalize, tried to separate himself from the immediacy and look everything with the cool focus he could find when a problem shattered into chaos that even he couldn't predict...but failed.

The best he could do was not fight against it, to observe everything and let it pass.

...

The desert was an unexpected change, and the glass that litered the landscape alone left him wondering where the wreckage was, because a building must have collapsed. But the mirrors were anomalous--a metaphor, he suspected. The mind did funny things.

He had to force himself to not look away from the various traumas that Spock had faced...and wondered why he was included.

After a moment he closed his eyes.]

Talk to me, Spock. I don't know what I'm supposed to be looking for.

The adepts on Vulcan encouraged us to use images to center our thoughts... I used mirrors. The shards of glass appeared after Vulcan's destruction...and it only became painf...significant after the Shift.

[A projection of Spock appears in front of Lupin, his expression incredibly reserved. He gestures towards the Lupin's own form... there is a glowing, golden cord leading off into the distance... over a dune... and it is tied around Arsene's waist.]

Shall we follow it?

[He caught that slip, but didn't press at it. Lupin drew his own conclusions from Spock's explanation, and knew that there was a link between the destruction of his world and the jagged fragments on the sandy terrain. Explanations would come later, when the time was right.

Lupin followed Spock's gesture at the cord and their path with his eyes, torn between curiosity and discomfort.

Curiosity, as always, won.]

Sure... [The uncertainty lingered. This was intensely personal for both of them, and likely one of the few times that Spock had ever entered a 'contract' like this.

The uncertainty was mutual. He knew it.

A glance upward at Spock, and a nod toward their path.]

Shall we?

Edited 2012-10-20 03:27 (UTC)

[Spock nods and leads them over the dune to a decimated, desert garden... The earth around it is cracked and dry...the plants dead and plastered to the ground...with a couple of exceptions. There are a few sporadic pieces of greenery...

The golden cord leads to a rather fetching desert flower. ]

...This is you.

[Lupin knelt in the sand and gently took the cord in his hands to confirm Spock's assertion, for his own sake. The rest of the greenery was horribly withered, the land barren, but this one piece was still healthy and alive. He looked up.]

So it is. What...do we do?

~hope you don't mind all the info! haha

Info is always fine~~

XD

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