spohkh | Appointments

[In the meantime Spock has located candles of various sizes and is placing them sporadically throughout the room.
Spock rolls out a couple of mats and places what looks to be a firepot between them.

He starts to light the candles, giving the room a relaxing atmosphere.]

[Spock walks up to Lupin and silently inquires about the tea.]

[A nod. The Malnosso's influence on him had taught him how to work with silence, if nothing more. Lupin poured the hot water into the serving pot, as he had watched Goemon do many times, and turned to Spock with a curious look.]

So. What do you have planned with the fire?

Vulcan's have a history of utilizing fire as a focal point in meditation. We are also a desert people, the heat that comes from fire is relaxing... and I have perceived this in humans as well.

Have you been able to explore what element you find most relaxing?

I--hnn.

[It was a focused, nasal snort as he thought about Spock's words for a second. The events of June had given him more incentive to try to contact the local spirits over the last few months, but the only one that he had any success with was Kipinn. He was the wind elemental, and he seemed to be moderately friendly. It was normal for a person to have relatively decent mastery of Kipinn's teaching's after a short while, but the most that Lupin could manage so far was a gust here or there.

He knew that it was possible to muffle close sounds with those skills, once full mastery was reached. The infiltrator in him wanted to do that.

However, a recent conversation with his doctor and a friend had given him the extra push to try contacting Eferin, the fire spirit. Understanding was a little easier because he and Lupin had similar, blustering temperaments, but he hadn't been able to learn anything yet.

Ambient heat. That was his goal. For the short term, it would help keep himself and others from freezing if they had to travel during a blizzard.]

...you know, I haven't had much success on that front.

[Spock tilted his head in obvious amusement...]

That is fine. The logic behind the flame... a chaotic, destructive force... serves as a metaphor for a Vulcans' control of their emotions.

[Spock's mind though suddenly drifts to his father on one of his earliest teachings of meditation....

My son, Kithira is an old Vulcan meditation that is used to restore control, and get order in a mind of chaos. The kithira is done, with eyes closed, by building a structure by different shaped blocks. It helps to focus thought and refine mental control. The meaning is to succeed in building a stable structure by the blocks. The kithira is a reflection of the builder's state of mind, and looks different every time it is built. The approximate translation of "kithira" is "structure of harmony". Different mantras have been used when doing the kithira. One example of this is "Structure. Logic. Function. Control. A structure cannot stand without a foundation. Logic is the foundation of function. Function is the essence of control. I am in control. I am in control." Do you understand?]

[He shook his head to clear his thoughts...addressing Lupin once more....]

Vulcans use meditation for 'arie'mnu' or rather a mastery of passion and emotion, and training the mind for complex uses of the intellect. The most important thing about meditation remains that one does it regularly and mindfully. Unfortunately I have not been adhering to this practice due to my compromised state... I admit to some cowardice on my part for not wanting to examine my thoughts at the time. Now however I am left with no choice.

Edited 2012-10-19 02:39 (UTC)

...Because of the link, right?

[And likely much more. Lupin thought over the explanation, understanding 'mastery' in a less literal sense. There was complete structuring, and then there was channeling. The latter was a tactic that he used while on a job, when his excessive energy and any sparks of fear threatened to unravel everything. He used them as fuel rather than an excuse, even when frustration mounted over any compromising factor in his groundwork.

Though, in the end, even he based his plans on rigid constructs.]

Not entirely, but that is accurate assessment. I am rather 'hallowed out' at the moment, and need to regain the constructs of my previous mental state...with a few personal adjustments. Having you here will greatly aid that process.

[Spock sits tailor style on one of the mats and lights the fire-pot]

How is the tea?

Tea, right...

[He turned back to check on it and, satisfied, he poured a small cup for each of them. Green tea--a sencha, if he guessed correctly--was the offered fare, and it would suit them fine.

Lupin joined Spock on the mat across from his and passed over a cup.]

We can do that. Meditate. If that helps you.

[Spock takes tea in hand and nods his thanks... taking a sip he regards Lupin...]

Indeed, your help will be most appreciated. However, while we drink our tea, perhaps you can tell me of your own state of mind. I hope I did not push you too far out in the pool.

[Lupin sat cross legged on his mat and paused mid-sip at Spock's question. He swallowed and lowered his cup, but didn't set it down.]

...I'm not in the habit of talking about myself.

[It was said calmly. His gaze never wavered for a moment as he spoke.]

[Spock hummed at that response and remained thoughtful for a moment.]

I have often questioned the logic behind sharing ones feelings with others. However, my mistake was placing humans in the same category with Vulcans...
There is a cathartic effect to share your thoughts with others. I will never force information from you Sa-Kai, but know if there is ever anything that is troubling you... you can tell me.

I understand that the nature of this bond has caused us to become 'closer' than which is considered the norm in social constructs. The amount of trust that is needed to allow someone to carry a link to your mind is... to borrow a human idiom 'heavy'. [Spock takes another sip of tea, enjoying its warmth.]
It seems we have forced several boundaries, and you have been nothing but exemplary and accepting this entire time... though there are some aspects of this that concern me I must prioritize myself. But know you can voice your concerns at any time. [Spock had never had this kind of tea before... it was most pleasing.]

[He knew that there was a certain catharsis in taking others into confidence and sharing worries or concerns. It took some of the burden off of his shoulders, so he didn't have to think about it as hard any longer. He knew all of this, but trust was always the problematic factor. He had Smoker as his trainer and Law as his sometimes counselor, but there were few beyond that whom he considered close enough to try that with. Fujiko was a possibility, but she was as untrusting and cagey as he was. He couldn't rely on it. He knew it.

The others he had tried to trust were the same ones with whom he had fought. That level was months in the making.

But the events in the Dome with Spock were wholly different, and he knew parts about Spock that few others did. Similarly, Spock could say the same about him. It was a rarity in any world and he didn't necessarily want to ruin it.

He took another sip of his tea, enjoying the smooth, mellow taste of it.]

I understand that, and you're right in placing yourself first. You've been through a lot lately, and you have other events that you need to process.

...Look. I know that you're not going to intentionally do anything harmful, and my issues aren't really about you. This situation is just...

It's uncomfortable for me.

I believe I understand...

[Spock pauses as he levels Lupin with a steady gaze...]

But please note sa-kai, that I am here for you if you ever feel you want to unburden yourself.

[Spock breaks the gaze to take a sip of tea and hums in apparent pleasure. He is rather fond of tea.]

[He noted it and filed it away, but he wasn't certain how to accept such support. The Dome was a special occasion. Neither of them knew better...but what Spock said was true. Lupin sipped his tea as well and mulled over his response as he enjoyed the simplicity of it.]

I'll remember that. It's just...difficult.

[Spock gives Arsene a small smile as he sets down his empty cup...
Spock knows that Lupin will come to him when he is ready and not a moment before.]

[Spock leans forward and moves his hands closer to the flame, appreciating the warmth...

It is an odd sensation to have memories, that were once tightly contained and categorized, freely move throughout his mind....

Spock starts to breath deeply and methodically.]

[Lupin finishes his tea as well and settles in, carefully studying Spock's movements. After a moment, he speaks up.]

What are you doing?

[Spock breaths in deeply...]

I am attempting to center myself before I bring us both into a meditative state.

Let me know when you are ready and I will connect our minds.

[Lupin nodded, and tried to ignore the spark of uncertainty. Though they had all ready done this before, the circumstances were entirely different. They either didn't know, or they were focused on practicality.

He took a deep breath and finished off his tea. The cup was set aside, along with his lingering doubts. They would be dealt with later.

This was important, for both of them to try.]

...okay. [he said at length,] what do you need me to do?

[Spock encourages Lupin to come closer so that their knees are almost touching... but to leave enough room for the small pot between them.

Spock then lifts one hand and gestures for Lupin to lean forward....]

[Lupin drew closer after a hesitant moment and leaned forward as indicated. He didn't close his eyes or look away, but he faced it like he did every challenge: straight forward, and undeterred.]

[Spock gives a moment of hesitation before flexing his fingers then gently placing them along the psy-points on Lupin's face..]

Sa-kai.... My mind to your mind...

My thoughts to your thoughts..

[...Then they were both plunged into inky blackness...]

[At first there was nothing but cold darkness...
Gradually a red glow accompanied by warmth began to fill the space...

Then as if from a distance...]

...sa-kai?

[He wasn't sure which was work. The inky darkness or the sterile white of that cell that the Malnosso had thrown him in for the week prior to the last Shift. The darkness was inherently more comfortable to him for it's practicality. It was a tool, like everything, and the shadows had saved him more than once.

Lupin looked off into the black and tilted his head when he thought he heard something off in the distance. A moment passed before he fully grasped the situation.

Meditation. right.]

I'm here.

[His tone was even, somewhat mystified. His own attempts could be better described as chasing butterflies. His thoughts, ideas, observations, and ponderings always seeped through any outside veil of calm that he tried to absorb.]

[Spock nudged his mental shields until they gave way and fully relaxed his mind in Lupin's presence. The brokenness and loneliness was evident, but it was not as chaotic as before....

A blue glow hugged around Lupin's presence...]

Allow me to show you around.. [There was a hint of amusement attached to that statement as Lupin was tugged further into Spock's mind.]

Eventually memories and impressions started to flow along the edges of the darkness, growing in number and speed the further they went.]

[Lupin didn't fight against it. Not this time. The subtle amusement that he heard in Spock's tone was a familiar anchor in the maze of images and impulses that he was being led through. His own tension gave way to curiosity, and he understood then how intensely personal a mind meld really was for a Vulcan.

Had he the ability to do so, he would never be willing to use it. There were parts of him that he just didn't want people to know.

...He had to respect Spock for sharing this much of himself.]

Where are we going? [Because he wanted to know. He always wanted to know.]

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~hope you don't mind all the info! haha

Info is always fine~~

XD

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1/?

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