spohkh | Appointments

[Fascinating....

Spock could feel the addictive need through the link.. he should distract Lupin. He still doubts that he has made total peace with this, but it can wait for the time being. They were on vacation after all.
Lupin was no 'pet-project', that was for certain.]

[Spock nods in response then leans backwards to rest his head on the ledge... a smile appears on his face and there is humour that travels through the link...]

[The argument hadn't fully been processed because he wanted to think of the two major factors in question as being almost like his partners. It wasn't for the criminal aspect, but the support. They formulated a harrowing battle plan together back in June, along side Luceti's top doctor, strategist, and commander. It was that same plan where he came up with the decoy plan after a careful assessment of the situation, and he was ready at that point to take the full duty himself.

Even knowing from the start that it was liable to be a suicide mission.

He could drown his mind with project and other thoughts and he could put the argument behind him, but there were still moments when it creeped back into his mind.

It had been a month. Were friendships really so fragile.

Lupin decided that he would get a smoke later, when they were done soaking and Spock had settled in. No need to subject him to second hand smoke...

But there was an odd, light note that he couldn't fully define. He noted Spock's smile, but that only inspired questions.]

What's up?

[It was the only question that he could think of asking.]

I am merely thinking of similarities... they are quite amusing in a rather 'unfunny' way. As to why I am smiling is rather a mystery to me.

[Spock looked up and quirked an eyebrow, how could he ever tell Lupin that he thought they were similar? How could he tell his new friend that he did not want to see him reach his breaking point...because there may never be a return from that. The only reason why Spock was able to come back at all was because of Lupin's efforts...
Spock desired to see Arsene truly happy. His smile was forced most of the time, the humour hardly ever reached his eyes... and he talked in circles.

It was always about the next job was it?

Distraction... he remembered Lupin using that at one point. Was that all Spock was? A distraction? The next job?

Ah...Spock could see now. In some twisted way, to leave Lupin without this distraction would be to break him... but then, if he did not break, how would he ever heal? ]

What am I to you? [...Spock could hit himself, he really could....]

Someone who is very fascinating but also someone that I can't fully understand...

[In truth, he would have simply left Spock alone if it weren't for that Shift. It was a chance meeting with a pop culture icon to him...but that was the same with Luke Skywalker. Then there was that Shift, and their interactions felt like there was something more involved.

Like with Spock. Like with this strange complication that he similarly just didn't understand.

A break at some point was almost inevitable. Lupin was starting to understand just how Luceti can truly break people. It only took him the better part of a year to jump that intellectual hurdle.

Lupin glanced back down at his hands, at how he had twisted his fingers together in an effort to simply do something. It was simply easier.]

...similarities of what kind? Color me curious.

Edited 2012-10-17 03:39 (UTC)

[Spock waves off the question...]

Merely an insight on our penchant for work and limited contact. Vulcan culture was not so different from the baser aspects of your life.

I believe this would be a good opportunity to clear some confusion you might have. [Yeah..there might have been a quick change in subject, but Spock was actually 'afraid' to find out that Spock was merely a means to an end. He did not like feeling used....]

Do you have any questions about our connection? I believe I have found some new insights.

[He glanced up again at the explanation. There was a point to it. A year ago he would never have considered Spock's words as even a remote possibility, but too much happened in the intervening months to make that impossible now. Not many more things could surprise him about Luceti. Brain washing and memory loss were familiar, if uncomfortable, experiences, and watching the world go topsy turvy or the residents play out classic fantasy roles started to become amusing after a short while. It kept him laughing, and laughter was always his salvation.

Like his work. Though he admitted that there was a little selfishness involved, similar to his plan with Loki before he caught the journal communication that he missed while he was locked in a white, spartan room for a week of complete isolation. The Loki project was fueled by sympathy. He understood the trials of an overactive mind.

But Spock was different. Lupin wondered if their extended communication in the Dome had anything to do with it, but he was genuinely concerned. He wouldn't have stayed by Spock's side while he was unconscious or rushed to aid him earlier that week otherwise.

He leaned back, suddenly tired from the tense conversation. Sleep would come easily that night.]

Tell me what you've got then. I'm not even sure where to begin asking questions.

[Spock felt guilty that he is the reason Lupin now feels like this.... Ka'adith, it will get better.]

I am not sure how familiar you are with Vulcan culture, but to explain what I have found requires some explanation.

[Spock leans back himself and prepares himself...]

Before the time of Surak and logic, Vulcans were a warrior race renowned throughout the quadrant as being brutal and ruthless. There are few traits that have carried through to the present age but we cannot ignore our heritage [Spock thought about certain rituals that Vulcan decided to uphold and events that happen regarding their physiology.... He shivered...not something Spock was looking forward to....], we are who we are... and that was military. That would be one of the reasons why my people did not look kindly on me when I chose to go to Starfleet... I was the only Vulcan ever to have turned down an offer into the Vulcan Science Academy. [Spock made a small grimace as he remembered the council and their disdain towards his human heritage...]] However, being a militant race meant we fought closely with our Vulcan kinsmen, with our brothers... Not in a familial sense, though in some cases this would be true, but what I mean is that we created bonds with our fellow soldiers, and together they would become powerful.
I believe that is what has happened to us. My mind called out to yours...but it goes both ways, to have created such a bond your mind would have had to call out as well. I recognized you as someone I could trust [Spock left out that Lupin would have had to also seen him as someone he could trust... ], a brother in arms.

[Spock finally looks up...]

What do you think of this Arsene?

It sounds like nakama.

[It was a term he only learned during his stay in Luceti, but it defined how he felt about his partners. They were comrades in arms. They were his, and he was similarly theirs. It was a rough concept that was defined by mutual support, mutual trust, and mutual ideas of possession. He knew that certain pirates in their bubble shared that concept, although it had no name in his world. It was something that happened on accident, something that perpetuated itself to the point where they would start a war if something that they called their own was threatened. He had started wars over his loyalty and twisted sense of justice.

He knew that he would do it again.

Unfortunately, not everyone in the village understood what nakama was. Among those people were the two who were the most recent factors that made him question the level of trust that he placed in others.

...it was their loss.]

But it goes both ways, huh?

[The recurring question of trust that was starting to become associated with Spock surfaced once again. Spock did trust him, he knew. It was why he was making the effort to make sure nothing happened to his 'little brother.' It was his responsibility. When did it start becoming something more?

Neither of them had their memories during that Shift when they made their connection. The challenges in the dome, along with his enforced silence, had pushed them together. Lupin knew the truth. Though he questioned almost everything at some point during those days and eventually came to the understanding that he couldn't truly trust anything, the one factor that he never questioned was Spock. Their extended contact had shown him that Spock wouldn't knowingly lie in order to hurt people.

'Brother in arms.' Maybe it did truly go both ways.]

Man...don't get too comfy around here. This place really is messed up.

[Spock leans forward once more with an amused expression...]

I am familiar with the Japanese term Nakama, and it does indeed contain some similarities.

[Spock tilted his head, he could see that Lupin accepted his explanation...But there was still other concerns.]

May I tell you a story?

[He wondered briefly if the heat from the springs was starting to get to his head, but he could handle it for a while longer. Lupin nodded.]

Go ahead. I'm listening.

[Spock allowed himself to completely relax and let go of all his shielding so that Lupin could get a better understanding of what Spock was saying.]

[With a half smile he started story with a cliche...]

Once upon a time... there was a boy who tried so hard to prove himself of his worthiness that he forgot about who was around him and who he might be unintentionally hurting.
So one day the young boy decided to take matters into his own hands and without telling his parents went out on his own to prove to his peers that he could be as good as them. He did not consider his parents feelings because he believed that they were not important.
Eventually the boy became lost as was attacked by a wild animal. When the boy was found his parents were mad and kept him in the house for a long time while he healed. Every time he tried to leave the house his mother became upset, or angry. When the boy finally confronted her about this and asked 'why' she said that she was 'worried' and 'because I care about you'... this was an illogical answer for the boy. But the boy later realized that what his mother meant was exactly that....she was worried. And though it seemed illogical at the time, caring about someone can make you act in ways contrary to your nature..and it is important to remember this and be patient with the ones who care about you.

[Spock closed his eyes and concentrated...]

...And I will never expect you to be any more than who you are sa-kai. Let go of your anger and frustrations and as you say...let them come to you. And they will...]

[Swift. To the point. But gentle. Somehow Spock had hit every element of their argument in September with little more than recounting a story that Lupin suspected was heavily influenced by Spock's personal life. The link worked both ways, he remembered.

...A part of him wondered just how much Spock knew.

That was his innate paranoia leaking through, even as he accepted the reassurance that he felt from Spock. Understanding without judgement was all he ever asked for in his friends. It was given, most of the time.

And it was given here, with nothing asked in return.]

I know.

[He replied in kind, knowing that he couldn't have found his voice even with the amplifier in place.]

'Nakama.' They'll pull through. Maybe. If not...then it was my mistake.

[Spock nodded, but was sure his friends would come back to Arsene eventually...

Spock sighed then swam forward a bit until he was closer to Lupin...his face was partially submerged in the water..

There seemed to be an awkward pause for a moment when suddenly...

Spock flicked water at Lupin's face.]

[Suddenly water.

Lupin was jolted out of his reverie by the splash and blinked in surprise at Spock. It was strange, seeing a normally cool person looking up at him with a subtle hint of mischief glinting in his eyes.]

[His grin was equally sudden, and he returned fire with splash.]

[Spock was giving Lupin that odd half-grin as he backed up and sent a larger splash of water in his direction.]

[Lupin didn't bother to dodge the splash; he only grinned, and accepted the challenge.

A moment later he sent an even larger splash in Spock's direction, but he followed it immediately with a headlong tackle.

The only other person he had played like this with, a similarly dark haired man with just a subtle a sense of humor, returned home months ago. It was important for everyone, not just children, and oh god had Lupin missed it!]

[Spock was full out smiling as he leaned into the tackle and brought them both into the water.

Spock would usually have the upper hand... but he was unused to water. He broke the surface spluttering and wiping his eyes....but still smiling.... and leaving himself exposed to any other attack.]

[There was no other attack, only choked laughter. Lupin leaned heavily on Spock with his face turned away, shoulders shaking in his effort to stifle it.]

[Spock looks up at Lupin from his hunched position and gave him a quick jab to the side (mindful of the strength behind it) and gave him another small splash for emphasis.]

[Spock has never really....played before... it was quite amusing to say the least.]

[The poke dispersed the laughter, but a sly grin curled his lips.

Lupin pushed forward with his full body weight--enjoy being dunked, Spock.]

[Spock was caught off guard and made an impressive splash as he went forward into the water.

....but on the way down Spock grabbed Lupin's arm. If he was going down, he was taking Arsene with him...]

[He hadn't expected that.

The hot water was over Lupin's head before he realized what was happening and could make a move. He whirled around with another splash and tried to rip his arm away from Spock's steely grip and break the surface.

Breathing was important too.]

[Spock let go as soon as Lupin was submerged under water and made for the surface himself....

Spock was having fun....when did that happen?

Play was a rather alien concept to Spock and he seemed to also gain a rather warm feeling while witnessing Arsene enjoy himself as well...]

[Spock made to relax at the edge of the pool once more....]

[Though his head spinning from the heat and his chest was heaving with every breath from the wrestling, Lupin was more than glad to follow Spock's lead. The heavy mood was gone and, though it was liable to return, he just wanted to take a while to enjoy the light mood. He swam to the edge of the hot pool and settled close to Spock, no longer hesitant to just take comfort in the company.

Seeing Spock play like that was itself a surprising treat. He had never imagined that sort of interaction to even be possible...]

Well. [He huffed, amused.] That was sudden.

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